A Prayer for the Successful Nihilist

A Facebook post about Alex Hormozi sent me back to my own story of deconstruction, and reminded me that God will go to extraordinary lengths to bring a heart back to Him.

The other day I saw a post on Facebook from an influencer named Akbar Sheikh.

For those of you who don’t know, Alex Hormozi is a popular online influencer and entrepreneur who runs a company called Acquisition.com. He’s made millions and helped thousands of people scale their companies.

When I read this comment, my mind instantly went to an Inner Circle dinner back in 2018. I remember being at restaurant and Alex was sitting to my left. It was my first time in Russell’s Inner Circle. I knew no one, and Alex wasn’t as famous then as he is now.

During this time I was fully deconstructed in my faith, and as we talked, I got a sense that he was a believer. Alex was generous with his advice and help for me, and after talking business for a bit, the conversation eventually landed on Jesus. Hearing Alex talk so confidently about his faith jolted me.

It’d been awhile since I talked faith, and this was probably the first time I realized that there were a fair amount of Christians in the online space.

This memory is what prompted me to respond to Akbar in the following way:

Even though I myself have gone through walking away from my faith and returning, it didn’t dawn on me that Alex would have spoken so confidently at that dinner and then rejected it all.

Or had he?

I went and watched the clip.

My heart both sank and ached as I listened to him explain how he arrived at the conclusion that he did not believe in any of it.

The funny part though? In that 5 minute clip, several times he kept saying “I might be wrong” in different ways.

• 1:06: In a direct, though somewhat sarcastic or placating tone, he says, "and i'll say it right now i'm wrong. i'm wrong you're right everyone listening to what you believe you're right." He says this to appease listeners who may have felt their faith was attacked.

• 3:10: He implies that no one has the definitive answer, including himself: "...to say that like we have cracked it or like alex has cracked it..."

• 4:51: He makes his most direct and clear statement acknowledging his view isn't a universal truth: "but that's that's like and i know it's i'm not right you know what i mean it doesn't like that's just my two cents."

So why am I talking about Alex Hormozi’s deconstruction?

Because there are a LOT of people this is happening to, and having walked it, I feel compelled to speak about it.

First, no one but God knows the intimate parts of any human heart. We can guess, but He alone judges fairly and justly according to His perfect understanding.

I want to say this to ANYONE who has deconstructed or watched a loved one walk away from the faith: if that person was once TRULY saved- a follower of Jesus, a believer in His word, even if that faith was as small as a mustard seed…

You cannot deconstruct your way out of God’s grip.

Alex Hormozi does not have the power or the might or the success or the intelligence to escape the grip of Almighty God if he did in fact give his life to Jesus and receive salvation.

How do I know this?

Because of God’s faithfulness to the covenant He made with Israel. He walked through the covenant with HIMSELF during that incredible moment with Abraham.

When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold, a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces. - Genesis 15:17

Abraham was in a deep sleep. When two people made a covenant in ancient times, each person walked through the piece of the animal that was sacrificed. But in this one, God walked through both.

Over thousands of years, God is still not done with His chosen people. Despite the Jews rejection of their Messiah, He is faithful.

He will bring a remnant to Himself. He will make good on all the promises He spoke through His prophets.

Jesus and Paul say it again in the New Testament.

27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. 30 I and the Father are one.” - John 10:27-30

38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:38-39

God will not let His children get lost. Not if they’ve said yes to Him.

Now… here comes the hard part.

This is the part of my deconstruction story that feels eerily similar to the pattern of Israel’s disobedience, exile, discipline, and restoration.

God will go to great lengths to rescue those who are in the grip of sin. And oftentimes that means a LOT of pain.

In Isaiah 47:10, we see the prophet showing just how smart, strong, successful people lose their way.

You felt secure in your wickedness; you said, ‘No one sees me’; your wisdom and your knowledge led you astray, and you said in your heart, ‘I am, and there is no one besides me.’
- Isaiah 47:10

As much as the health & wealth gospel sounds great to our ears, it’s more often that wealth and success lead to a crisis of faith, not the advancement of it.

I didn’t return to Jesus when I hit my million dollar year. I returned when nihilism lead to crippling existential dread, and I had sin that I felt enslaved to. Darkness. Pain. Anxiety. Anger. Grief.

That was the moment I reached back out.

I felt sadness in my spirit the entire day after seeing that clip about Hormozi. I started to pray for him, and then I stopped.

I asked God, “What do I pray for? If the Hormozi I talked to in 2018 was truly saved then, you have him in your grip, even if he doesn’t realize it right now.”

And I felt God’s spirit nudging me to reflect on my own journey.

The feelings I hated. The pain I experienced. The terror I lived with. This was the catalyst for returning.

So I prayed that Alex’s nihilism would mature and ripen into the true existential dread that it represents. I prayed that he would feel the darkness of what nothing in the afterlife truly means.

And then I prayed that he would FEEL God’s breath on him. He may think he’s walked away from God. But God’s unending, scandalous, breathtaking love and faithfulness has not left him, or anyone like him that has once cried out to Jesus, and then walked away.

Alex hasn’t escaped God’s grip. I didn’t. You haven’t.

I don’t pretend to know what Alex still wrestles with privately. I can only speak to what he’s shared publicly, and what it stirred in me.

If you’re in a season of pain, doubt, terror, or existential dread, God has given you a gift. He’s allowing you to see the emptiness of life without Him. It may feel terrible, but He will go to extraordinary lengths to bring back a heart that once said yes to Him.