I found this meme on X this morning and I think it’s fitting….
The situation we find ourselves here in the United States as we approach the 2024 election is just… wild.
Absolutely bananas.
I’m sure people in other periods in history thought they had the corner on the market of crazy, but I don’t know… this seems extra.
As I try to ignore the state of all-of-the-things and write about the upcoming election, it’s hard to stay focused. But I am going to try.
One thing I’ve learned as I continue to mature… my instincts are strong and (usually) sound. And it’s hard to look at what’s coming and not call to attention some patterns and truths that don’t go away, just because the media is busy spinning headlines.
So let’s look at some things we know are true:
Politics have become so polarized over the last four years, it’s hard to have civil discourse anymore. Algorithms fuel conspiracy, misinformation, and shock value content that panders to the lower common denominator of thought.
Rarely are there actual “omg these candidates are amazing” choices on the ballot in modern politics, because the system is broken, dysfunctional, and incestuous.
Depending on where you get your news or how you’ve trained your personal algorithm, you might have a completely different take on an event. We’re talking 180 degrees different.
Given the conversations around gender, diversity, women’s rights, and other touchy subjects, there’s a high likelihood that by staying in the middle, you will alienate both sides of the aisle.
Here I sit… squarely in the middle. Paralyzed with exhaustion.
I feel the same way about Donald Trump as I did in 2015 when I wrote about him. I wasn’t a millionaire yet (I was barely a freelancer) but I had a eye for what the media was doing.
The blog is no longer public but I’ve put images of my post (written nearly a decade ago). I still stand by my words 9 years later.
I did however get one thing wrong in this post… people no longer hate him at all. I grossly underestimated what would happen with enough Trumpisms thumping in our ears. He is now loved by millions.
But this is one reason why I love journaling. Because in 2015 (lest we all forget), most people thought this was an ego trip and media blitz. We could gather soundbite after soundbite of people who are dead set MAGA today and see how much they were against him at the beginning.
Is it just that lots of smart people “saw the light?” Or… is this what happens when a greedy money hungry media, deeply unhelpful algorithms, and a malignant power hungry narcissist band together and seduce the world with gaslighting, lies, and cult-like behavior?
So here’s where some of you might say “Julie you don’t sound like you’re in the middle.”
I KNOW that Donald Trump is a terrible leader. I KNOW that his lies and crimes and cheating and terrible character assassinations are not good for our country. I know his crazy authoritarian ways might destroy democracy.
I know this.
And I look over at the left and want to cry that it is my only other choice?!
I do not identify with the left. Not anymore.
I want a fiscally conservative, pro business candidate who cares about social justice and the environment, and doesn’t commit crimes.
Instead I either get a demagogue or a broken down party full of bullsh*t.
I know I am supposed to rally around Kamala Harris. I remember feeling a similar exhaustion when I was told to support Hilary Clinton. I didn’t like her at all, and I feel the same about Kamala. My instincts sound alarms about both, and I can’t fully explain why. Thus why this is a hot take and not journalistic integrity.
I feel bad saying that. Don’t I (as a woman) want a woman president? I mean… yes of course I do, but I want a woman I trust and I don’t trust Kamala… much in the same way I didn’t trust Hilary.
I wish I could explain why.
Then, we come to the hurried hasty messy headlines of the last two weeks.
This whole thing with Biden exiting the race by a screenshot on X, Kamala swooping in, Trump nearly dying by assassination and rising to some messiah like status, it’s too much you guys. The writers of this plot are drunk or high or both.
I’ve seen hot take after hot take — both on the Trump rally assassination attempt, and Biden’s exit and Kamala’s entrance and you can find extremism on both sides of BOTH EVENTS. Conspiracies litter social media like the trash on the grass lawn after a Metallica concert.
Here’s where I’ve landed…
Trump has not changed, despite his brush with death. He’s still the same guy (albeit nearly a decade older now with less coherence). Putting him in the White House is a suicide mission for Democracy. The day he was shot at, he was hyped up on adrenaline and saw the moment to rally the crowd with his bloody fist bump. He believes he is the main character in a movie, and acts accordingly.
The way the media and Democrats pressured Biden to step out, the way it’s being framed as a patriotic act, the hurried push for Kamala (since it’s financially and legally a bit cleaner than a new nominee who can’t get the funds from the Biden fundraising), the fact that all the Democrats are rallying around her as the right choice, when we all know that’s not how it went down… feels obnoxious. Don’t play us for stupid.
The question I have is… what happens when the election is over?
If Trump wins, we are in uncharted territory (which sounds dumb to say since we had him for four years). But he feels more unhinged now than back then. No matter what picture he tries to paint - distancing from Project 2025, or nominating a boring VP like Vance. He has not changed.
If Kamala wins, Trump and his party won’t accept defeat. Are they dumb enough to repeat January 6th?
I honestly do not know what America looks like with her as president. I think because it isn’t just her at the helm. It feels like in the Democratic party there’s some circle of people running the show in the background and it’s messy. I worry that it will not go well for me personally (fiscally) with 4 more years of a Democrat leading the country.
Again… hot uneducated take.
I wish this wasn’t the setup for 2024.
Who do I think will win?
I still think Trump will win, even though the millions in fundraising is pouring in for Kamala. But then you have Elon, who has pledged $45 million a MONTH to Trump I thought I read somewhere. Insanity.
Who am I voting for?
I don’t know. For the first time in my life, I’m considering not voting. Which feels privileged and unpatriotic, but I don’t know what to do with my instincts.
I am paralyzed in the middle, and exhausted.